My husband is very mean to me

Dear Pastor,

I am 64. My husband is 67. We have children and grandchildren. We are retired.

My husband gets a good pension. My pension is not so good, but my husband is mean.

He has always been mean to me. He hides money from me. I asked him if I was a thief. He said, "No". I asked him why was he hiding his money. Sometimes he hides his money and cannot remember where he had put it.

Last December he got a cheque from England. He went to change it. He did not remember where he had put the money.

He accused me of giving it to one of the grandchildren, who is involved in drugs. I told him, "No". He went out and drank. When he came back he cursed bad words until he fell asleep.

The following day I decided to search the house to find where he had put the money. The only thing he did not accuse me of was taking the money and giving it to a man.

I searched, pulled down the bed, searched every jacket and pant pocket, but could not find the money.

By the time he woke up, he saw the place all pulled up and asked what was the problem. I told him I was looking for his money.

I decided to search his shoes, every one of them. To my shock, I found the money wrapped in a black 'scandal bag' in his water boots.

I said, "Look at the money". That wicked man said that he didn't know how the money got there.

That almost spoiled my Christmas. When I found the money he was shocked and quiet as a lamb. I told him to give me what I should get. He gave me $20,000. I threw it on the bed, shouted at him and said, "Give me more". He gave me $5,000.

He tried to make up with me, saying he was only joking. It was not a joke. How could my husband call me a thief, then turn around and say it was a joke?

I love you, Pastor. I listen to you every night. You are the reason why we buy The Star.

T.H.

Dear T.H.,

I am glad you helped this man to find his money but encourage you to have your husband go to the doctor. He is not well. He has gotten forgetful. He is probably suffering from dementia. Many people put away stuff and can't remember where. When that begins to happen, family members should seek help for their loved ones. Perhaps your husband was not hiding the money from you. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps he thought of putting it somewhere that if thieves had broken into the house they would not have found it.

What do you say about my reasoning? Have a good laugh at me. Anyway, you know your husband. You say he is mean, and you can prove it. I hope you continue to be good lovers, enjoy your children and grandchildren. However, I insist, encourage him to see a doctor.

Pastor