I don’t want to get married again

Dear Pastor,

Years ago I met you at an outside broadcast and I was very impress by your frankness in answering the questions that people posed to you. I said to myself, this pastor man is different. So from that time, I have been listening to you and reading your comments in THE STAR.

You are not afraid of critics and I admire that. There are times when I question some of your answers, but you always give reasons for saying why you believe these things.

I have four children and they are married. The girls ask me some very difficult questions. I always say to them, read 'Tell Me Pastor' or write to him, or call him on his show. When one of my daughters have two children, she told me that her husband wanted her to get pregnant again, but she did not want any more children. She said that he told her that she should be prepared for anything to come because he has more seeds in his body, and he has to sow them. He said that if she would not agree to have any more children, he would find another woman who would bear his children. He was putting her on notice.

Thankfully, he did not carry out his threats. They have two lovely children who are doing well.

My other daughter has only one child.

I am writing to you because I am having a serious problem. My wife passed on due to cancer, and I am alone. I am not interested in getting married again. However, I am only 60 years old, and sometimes I feel very lonely. I have good female friends and they are always willing to come by and visit me.

I have good times with them, but these girls want me to marry them. One of them has become very close to my daughters. She has slept over a couple times.

The first time it happened, she came here and cooked and we ate. She then said she wanted to use the bathroom. She was in that bathroom for a long time. I asked myself what she doing in there so long. When she finally came out of the bathroom, she had on a see-through nightwear. I looked up and smiled. She said she wanted to give me a surprise. She went into my room and laid on my bed.

I can tell you that a better night I did not have for a long time. She did not disappoint me at all. But I know I cannot live this way.

The point I want to make is this: I want my pleasure sometimes, but I don't want to marry again.

My sons don't have much to say on that, but the girls have said that I should not marry again. They have offered to take care of me.

I want you to tell me what you think that I should do.

R

Dear R.,

I know you don't believe that I would tell you that the life you are living now, you should continue that way. Your daughters don't want any woman to take advantage of you.

Perhaps your daughters believe that women would only be interested in your money. Maybe they think that whatever they give you, you would share it with these women.

I wonder if it would make a difference if you were to tell your daughters that these women who love you are always interested in going to bed with you. The longer I counsel folks is the more I have come to realise that some elderly women are very hot, and they are after younger men.

Apart from what you have said about these women who love you, I don't know anything about them. They want to give you pleasure and to get pleasure for themselves. You should discuss this matter with your sons. You do not want to get married again, but your desire is to enjoy women as long as you can.

I will not mislead you. Your sons are grown men, so tell them the truth. You have had sex with at least one of these women. Remember to protect yourself from STIs.

Pastor